One of the chief causes of relationship failure and breakdown is infidelity–both the sexual and the emotional types. Infidelity causes a couple to drift apart instead of becoming closer to each other and more intimate. Infidelity can be very treacherous and deceitful. Happy couples often find themselves shocked to discover that one of or both partners are having unfaithful relationships with another person. Couples who have weak communication tend to become more prone to infidelity. A person who also is dishonest with himself or herself tends to give in to the temptation of having an affair.
Although infidelity may be unpredictable in almost all cases, you can guard yourself against it. Here are some tips on how to avoid becoming unfaithful to your partner.
The root of infidelity is dishonesty. Every time you ignore an issue, or every time you do not communicate your feelings–especially the bad ones–about your relationship, you are being dishonest not just to yourself but also to your partner and your relationship. Some people want to avoid conflict and pain, and this is why they avoid communicating honestly, only to find out sooner or later that the strength that communication builds in a relationship has been eroded. If you want to avoid infidelity, always communicate and do not be afraid to help each other sort through your relationship issues.
Stay away from circumstances that may lead you to give in to temptation. Temptation is all around you, but there just are people or circumstances that can make you more vulnerable to giving in. Especially when your relationship is in turmoil, you should avoid temptations. It could be that person who flatter you a lot, or that person who goes an extra mile to make you feel special, or that friend whose shoulder you can cry on.
Always stay in tune with your feelings. Many unfaithful hearts are out of touch with their true feelings. They often repress both pleasurable and unpleasurable feelings perhaps to preserve an image of some sort. There is nothing wrong about admitting to your own feelings. If you are feeling neglected by your partner, tell him or her about it. If you feel like the relationship has been sluggish lately, talk to your partner about it. Infidelity comes when you leave unspoken and unacknowledged those important things that need to be spoken and acknowledged.
Seek help. You can seek the listening ear of a professional counselor or even a trusted friend. What matters is that you have someone reliable who can listen to you and help you sort out any confusing fears or feelings that you are yet unable to express to your partner. Find help from someone who is trustworthy, not from someone who will lead you far from the right path.
There is no such thing as a relationship that cannot work. Relationships stop working when people involved themselves cease working on the relationship–often out of fear, many times out of ignorance, all the time out of a distraction from your real focus for being in a relationship: to love another person and to be loved in return.
More tips To Avoid Infidelity
1. Invest in your partnership. Make time for your relationship just as you would for
any valuable asset. The efforts that you put into growing and developing it will be
returned in multiples. Use each other for support as you are going through the myriad
challenges of life.
2. Keep up the romance. Remind each other why you fell in love. Set aside time to be
together and focus on each other. Be free with your affection and warmth. Tap into your
sensuality and find new ways of exploring and expressing your sexual relationship together.
3. Enjoy each other. Be playful and have fun together. Laugh and bring humor into your
daily life. Plan some adventures – discover new activities you both like to do. All of
these bring more pleasure into your relationship and encourage real intimacy between you.
4. Give compliments freely. Sometimes it seems easier to criticize and complain
than to praise and acknowledge positive behavior. Adjust your antennae to be more
attentive to the actions you want to reinforce. When you are thinking something nice,
say it out loud to your partner.
5. Keep your communication open and honest. Talk out misunderstandings before they become
full-fledged arguments. Use the same conversational etiquette with your spouse that you
would with anyone else you care about and respect. Practice active listening skills
and sending I-messages.
6. Use cooperation and compromise. Be flexible in resolving your conflicts. Remind
yourself to look at the issue from your partner’s perspective as well as from your own.
Ask yourself if it is more important to be right and win the argument than to protect
7. Deal with anger. Once you have expressed negative feelings, find a way to let go
of the hostility. Resist holding on to resentment and avoid the emotional baggage of
planning retribution. Learn to forgive your partner and to apologize for your own mistakes.
8. Build basic trust and loyalty. If you are devoted to one another and to your
marriage, your behavior will reflect this deep commitment. Knowing that you are
dedicated to the needs of each other gives you both the confidence to pursue your
own goals out in the world.
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